I haven't had a conversation with substance with a friend of mine since before Season 2 of 00 began. It sucks.
I've avoided getting into any kind of conversation about the series with her, because I caught on quite early that it would never end well. It is why I won't do anything more than fangirl about small bits and pieces. That I won't really say anything more other than I watched the last episode and how I won't even talk about my actual thoughts, opinions, or guesses of the series.
I'm always so vague as I feel like if I am not, I will have to filter her away from the post, other people will notice she isn't talking to me about it, and then she will find out that I am filtering things. Maybe I over think things, but there have been many entries I have tried to write about only to delete them because of it.
It's so stupid. So I avoid talking about the series with her and somehow, all conversations seem dead between us. We didn't meet because of 00, so I don't understand. It sucks.
I guess if I had to pinpoint to where it began, it would be the conversation in July I
briefly mentioned on LJ. It doesn't look like I ever got myself to talk about the actual conversation. It was when I found out how much she hated Graham. Even though he wasn't the only thing I talked about with her, I quickly felt bad and went to apologizing. How I had no idea and wish she had told me sooner. The only reason she
told me was that I teased about how annoying I must be at times.
( More about that Conversation. )It sucks, but true. Our conversations were non-existent only because I am the type of person who doesn't go digging for information before a season starts. Season 2 started and I had no internet to watch it. . .but heard bits and pieces from her. I then watched it and, as I said, it was obvious early on that this is a topic her and I can't talk about. At all. So. Our conversations have been basically dead. Empty. Filled with random emoticons and random bits about work.
Now this morning, somehow it came up. A few lengthy responces back and forth and it wasn't a happy conversation. I felt like I would only be defending my opinion, which isn't fun, and so I resorted to the simple one word answers that don't really have a meaning other than to say "I don't know what to say." I told her I didn't mean to upset her, to which I got an "Ah" response. Which I take as proof that I did, really upset her and just. *Sighs*
I realized a week or so ago that probably the reason why I am jabbing at certain people to watch is simply so I have someone to talk to or theorize with. And today, with our conversation. . .I realized maybe she is just looking for someone to talk and theorize with. We did with each other for season 1 and now we don't have that.
I've been avoiding the subject this whole time, but this morning I don't know how it came up and came up so fast. She's rambled and ranted about Season 2 a few times to me before, but usually I didn't agree with her so I never rambled back. This morning I tried to actually have a conversation with her back. . .and it didn't go well.
It is just as she pointed in our conversation in July. "It's not the same."
Babbling at a non-responsive IM that only replies with "Heh." "Yeah" or "*Pats*" is just as productive as writing an LJ entry.
So now I feel bad. Really bad and depressed.