Ace Pilot

Hi.

2009-12-18T19:51:22Z

The stuff at work is a complicating mess. So even though I have a large list of what needs to be done and what needs to be done now, I can't do any of it. Still a "hurry up and wait" moment. It's frustrating. What is frustrating right now is that most of the people who needs to get me these things are gone all next week.

Awesome.

This weekend I will probably be cleaning and getting ready for my trip to Las Vegas. I like to list out everything I am bringing. I should probably go to the bank too, take out money for a cab. I plan on taking a cab there and back to the airport. . .more expensive than driving, but I am paying for convenience. I am so looking forward to warmer weather.

Mia at work has claimed me as her "con buddy" and we are going to try and go to several cons next year. She's thinking SakuraCon, AkiCon, Kumoricon, PAX, Emerald City Comicon, SpoCon, and Spokane Comicon. I suggested looking for Idaho cons and possibly going to Anime Evolution in Canada-land. Canada-land won't be until 2011 or later. Woo~ I am very very excited.

Not sure what else to say. Um. Hi?

What's up, Doc? No. Seriously. What is up?!

2009-12-18T01:00:03Z

I need to see a doctor. I really do. And coming from me, that's saying something. I hate doctors. Just so many not-fun experiences with them that it really takes a lot for me to go. Since living here I just go into one of the urgent care no-appointment clinics. . .mainly because of convenient hours and it is just easier.

When I was in the hospital in August, the doctor there told me for I needed a regular doctor because with the disease I have, treatments might have to be adjusted often. I've put it off. Timing was off, too busy, I still don't like doctors, moved, and feeling guilty that my hospital bill wasn't paid off. Medical bills are all paid off now so I felt better. And just in time! Because I am dealing with another problem right now and I really can't take it anymore.

The hospital referred me to a doctor and I lost that information. . .long ago. It was in a packet with information about my disease, so I don't see how it is possible that I just threw it away by mistake. I cannot find it. Couldn't find it before the move and couldn't find it now. I remember specifically putting it in a "safe place" I just don't know what the safe place is.

Using my insurance, I tried locating doctors that accept it. I knew where on a map the doctor I was referred to is and I narrowed it down to two possible doctors. A little after 9:00am this morning I give the call. . .they aren't open yet and open at 10am. Okay. . .fine. At 12:50pm I call and they are closed. Seriously. What. The. HELL?! The two doctors had the same address, different phone numbers, no dice. I decide to call the hospital to see if they could refer me to someone again. No one answers. I leave a message.

HOW DUMB AM I? Reason #482 as to WHY I hate doctors. . .they never call you. NEVER. What the hell was I thinking? I call, no answer and they of course NEVER called back. The fucking hospital. FINE.

Got a recommendation for a doctor from someone at work. Pretty far so I figure out the bus route, call and get an answer. Yes! They can't get me in until July. JULY. Because I am a new patient. Their website and my insurance website said "accepting new patients" but apparently that isn't until JULY.

I sit back down and get back to work. Like, 10 minutes later I start crying for no reason and I feel like I am losing my mind. My emotions or hormones were just all out of wack and I was just crying off and on. I ask for another doctor reference from someone else, rant off all of this to another person, and a third person overheard all this. He called his doctor and then gave me the name, number, and address to where he goes. So. . .I call. They are able to see me Monday at 1pm. ( Actually she said she was available both Monday and Tuesday. . .so much better than July. )

The office is a bit far ( Not as far as the other one. ), but I should be able to take the bus there no problem.

To be completely honest, when I first started looking for a doctor, I expected them telling me they couldn't see me again until after Christmas, so I am pretty happy that I can go in Monday. And hopefully get this all resolved. Seriously. How can an animal bleed this much and for this long and not die?

So, doctor's appointment on Monday and therapy on Tuesday, then Wednesday normal and Thursday I leave near the end of the day to Las Vegas. Man.

Curse nature

2009-12-17T22:13:09Z

I am currently losing my mind. Can't stop crying at work right now.

The joy of being female, right?

AIM

2009-12-17T05:21:45Z

OKAY. I am getting rid of all my AIM names except one. So here it is. Make sure you have it if you ever want to chat with me!

AIM: Anibunny MZ
MSN: anibunny @ live.com

Girl Bits

2009-12-17T02:22:15Z

September, October, and November. I had my period 5 or 6 times. From my last period in November to my first one in December. . .it seemed normal. Two, three glorious weeks of not bleeding.

That period ended about 5 days ago.

I just started my period again. WHAT THE FUCK! You're fucking kidding me.

I don't feel like I am dealing with anymore stress than normal. I mean, you want to talk about stress, let's talk about the entire year of 2008. Why wasn't I bleeding all the time then!? ARGH.

Can I just give up this organ of mine to science or something?!

*Sulk* I just finished paying off all my medical bills. I don't want to go back to the doctor!

"Why are you reading the bible?"

2009-12-17T01:52:25Z

So without the long explanation on how it began, I was reading the bible at work today. I started a bit late in the day so I didn't get too far. Reading Revelation and got to 18 so I am almost done. New International Version if that means anything to you.

I'll admit. I am pretty dumb when it comes to the bible. I tried reading it cover to cover many many years ago. I made a decent dent in it, but got bored. ( I was 12, didn't like to read, and trying to read the bible. Yeah. )

Since then I've just read or heard miscellaneous passages ( I am a sucker for evangelist TV and radio. . .I DON'T KNOW WHY. ) and nothing more.

So with the random passages I've read, what I remember reading several years ago, and today. . .I'm very very very confused and have questions that I just know will probably just offend people. But that isn't my intention.

It really comes down to three questions.

What in the bible is considered historical fact by those who believe in the bible? What is considered fictional stories with the purpose of teaching something? And what is considered prophecy?

Basically. . .what am I reading?

It's a trainwreck you can't look away from.

2009-12-15T00:55:00Z

All right, anime. Woo~! I don't seem to really write down my thoughts about anime or manga or ANYTHING really. Sometime of substance that other people could comment and actually discuss. I just write simply fanatical nonsense, I'm sorry. So let's fix that. I was watching Baccano! on my lunch breaks each day and this weekend I completed watching all 16 episodes. ( Today I started Saint Seiya: Lost Canvas. ) So. . .Baccano!. . .

Why I Started Watching - I've seen it mentioned here and there, but wasn't really look for a new series to get into. I mainly read manga and only get into the anime if I enjoy the manga a ton or if a friend continually pokes at me to watch something. He he. But for some reason, things have changed lately. I have a few mangas needing to be read and I am looking into different animes to watch instead. I hold an interest into "mafia" type themes and so decided to give Baccano! a shot when I saw it was available on Hulu.

Thoughts on the Story - I'm a lazy watcher and if I am watching something in English, I am not really "watching" it. I am really just listening to it while glancing over periodically as I do something else. You can't really do that with Baccano! for the way it is setup. Something I didn't realize until the second episode.

How the story is edited and the flow of it is nothing new. . .think of Pulp Fiction. Seeing scenes from different times involving different characters and how their actions and lives actually intertwine. . .I am a HUGE sucker for these kinds of stories. I love it. I love seeing how the actions of people affect others. Pulp Fiction, Run Lola Run, and even things like Donnie Darko, The Butterfly Effect, Vanilla Sky, and The Rules of Attraction. . .I love it. Baccano! does that as well and I love how it is done. It also seems to flow.

I like the setting the story took place in. The artwork definitely worked well with the setting and the mood of the story. I'm usually not a fan of comic relief in serious stories. . .but for whatever reason, I felt the seriousness of the story was well balanced with the humor. It was a bit, ah, gruesome at some points. . .to a point that sometimes I would wonder what the fuck I was watching. It was truly a train-wreck that I couldn't look away from. ( Pun TOTALLY intended. ~~A lot of the story takes place on a train, FYI.~~ )

How the mafia interacted with other "families", the quest for immortality, and the mysterious monster known as The Rail Chaser are probably the three biggest stories going on. But you also have personal stories of those who are involved. I feel like for some of the smaller or personal stories. . .some questions were left unanswered. However! With episode 1 and episode 16. . .it explains it so perfectly and the reason why I said "That was awesome!". It's so simple and so obvious. Stories can't possibly have an ending just as they can't have a beginning. Those questions are meant to be there and enough is explained that, at least for me, I didn't feel cheated when Baccano! came to it's "end". ( And to be honest, I half expected Claire to "wake up" and we discover this was all a dream somehow. )

It has much depth which I am finding important to me. Like I said, there are probably three main things going on, along with other little stories intertwining with it. You can be invested in one, or some, or all these stories going on. That's what I loved about Gundam 00 season 1. It's one of the many things I enjoy about Baccano!.

The only thing I don't like about it, is very minor and it really revolves around a character.

Thoughts on the Characters - There are a few characters my opinions changed on, usually for the better. I don't know who to start with. I don't know who I would consider "main character-ish". Maybe I will start with who Carol sees as "main character-ish".

So, Firo. He's an adorable character. Generally likable, but I will admit that he doesn't seem "special" to me. He's an average character. I guess most of the characters are. . .and I think I say this about Firo because there are characters like Ladd, Jacuzzi, and Chane in the series. He seems to put off an innocent and carefree persona in the mix of things. While I say he doesn't stick out really, I think he is refreshing with the mix of character involved.

My love for Mr. Luck died a little bit as the series went on. To be completely honest, I mixed up Luck with Ronnie a bit, and this didn't become clear to me until Ronnie was explained as being the demon from 1711.

When it comes to who my favorite character is, I struggle a bit. I love love love Maiza so much. He seemed like an interesting character to me, so I kept my eye on him wanting to see if something would come up. Then of course we find out he is really an immortal and one of the originals from 1711. That whole episode changed everything and I loved him so much. I enjoy his relationship with Firo.

Then there is Vino or Claire. I just. I love him. Ha ha ha. I really don't know what to say about him, except he's not all right in the head, but he tries. And has a heart as we see with Chane. Chane is an interesting character to me. . .I probably wouldn't care much for her if it wasn't for the last three episodes. Seeing her with Jacuzzi, Nice, and even Claire. . .I like that. I absolutely love how things "ended" with Claire and Chane and Claire asking to be friends with a "and maybe you'll fall in love with me?" tacked on. Claire made me laugh and cringe at times, and is definitely my favorite character. ♥ Also, I absolutely love how Claire handled Ladd and Lua. Claire had no reason to kill Lua. . .so what ended up happening was awesome.

So. . .Ladd is who competes with Maiza in my head for second favorite character. He snuck out of nowhere. He's so absolutely insane and crazy and for the most part I am staring at him with horror. I can't look away. My favorite moment with Ladd was him fighting with Chane. . .and his "IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?!" moments. He's so dynamic and crazy.

Speaking of dynamic and crazy, we have Graham. I honestly don't like Graham. With him coming in so late and his personality, he's quite boring to me after seeing Ladd and Claire. I did enjoy the fight scene with Claire and Graham, but really only because I love Claire so much and it was hilarious.

Czeslaw is one of the characters I didn't care for until much later in the series. He comes off as a horrible little brat that does horrible things and has no sympathy. . .and then we see why he is like that. . .it's just like "Well, damn." I feel so bad for him. I really should give characters who seem horrible, the benefit of the doubt. Because of this, seeing that touching moment between him and Maiza and then again with Miria and Issac. . .I was struggling not to cry. I was so happy.

Now we have Miria and Issac. Part of my brain tells me I should not like these characters. I usually don't like these types of characters and yet, I love Miria and Issac. I want to say their only purpose is comic relief, but as this is an anime showing how people actions affect others. . .they are important. They make me laugh so much and they are so adorable together. I loved seeing them in 2001. Classic.

Jacuzzi was yet another character who had to grow on me. His whiney-ness was too much for me at first that I was a little annoyed by him. It was seeing him busting into a speakeasy and shooting up the place ( for a reason that is slipping my mind. ), I began to feel differently about him. His little bouts of bravery helped too. So of course I was really touched later on when we saw how his relationship with Nice began. And I do like Nice a lot. Such a cute character I think and balanced Jacuzzi quite a bit. It was because of her that I was able to tolerate him long enough to learn to like the guy.

Dallas and Eve? Ah ha ha ha ha ha. That's all I got to say.

I really liked Nicholas a lot and he sticks out in my mind. Szilard was certainly an interesting character and I enjoyed him very much. Though, I don't care for Ennis. She's too boring, though I understand why. I also understand that she actually gets human feelings eventually, so that's good. ♥

Finally, I love Elmer. HE'S SO FRICKEN ADORABLE. Awww. ♥

I'm closed-minded.

2009-12-14T21:43:42Z

*lol* I love twitter sometimes. . .

Anibunny: I just had the most delicious fudge thing made by @TheHollyJones. It's like heaven in a candy wrapper.
Anibunny: And I only call it a "fudge thing" because it's fudge with some other wonderful goodness.
Jimmygle: Thought you didn't believe in heaven? This is my paradoxical face -> o_0
Anibunny: you're right! I shouldn't say "like heaven" I should say it IS heaven. I now believe in heaven and it is this fudge.
Jimmygle: So what's the equivalent for hell?
Anibunny: Milk.
Jimmygle: How in the hell (pun intended... I'm clever) did you come to that conclusion?
Anibunny: I'm lactose intolerant. Milk has always been hell for me.
Jimmygle: Well that's pretty close-minded of you... maybe someday you'll learn to be tolerant.

I lol'ed in real life and had to explain it to a coworker who wondered what I was laughing at.

I'm waiting for someone to point out that they make "tolerance" in a pill. ( Or that fudge has milk~ )

Baccano!

2009-12-14T06:36:49Z

I just finished watching all of Baccano! Including the OVA. I just have one thing to say right now.

OH MY GOD, THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

I'll write more about it tomorrow and my weekend.

Though, I also need to add that there were two moments with Czeslaw that my eyes began to water and I almost started crying. I felt so dumb because, lol, totally not an anime to get all emotional and cry to.

I need to own this anime.

Flying Dream

2009-12-12T12:21:12Z

I use to have lucid dreams all the time, but it's been a very long time since I have had one, sadly. Well, last night I had one! For a very short moment, but I did!

The dream started out with me walking to work. It was light out. I get to the block my work is on and I see the News Director drive by. I don't know why, but that told me I was dreaming. I was like, "I'm dreaming! Am I dreaming? I think I'm dreaming." I looked around and certainly felt in control of it.

I held up my hands and gave myself some wings, jumped up and began flying. It was awesome! I was just flying around Spokane.

I can't remember what, but something began happening in the dream and I felt like I was beginning to wake up. I started to freak out because I knew I shouldn't wake up yet and told myself not to. I ended up losing control of the dream.

A little bit later I ended up waking up anyway, it was midnight.

Pink Atheism

2009-12-12T03:59:16Z

Another day spent poking around Yahoo! Answers. I realized something today. All the debates and discussions I have been involved in where it was atheists an believers. . .it was usually over the separation of church and state, evolution, and certain laws. . .stuff like that. All politics and never simply about religion.

So poking through questions on the religion section was really interesting. I can't believe how many people seem to misunderstand what an atheist even is. First, one question and answer made me DIE laughing at work: Screencap!

One guy was getting irritated. I liked his questions and he didn't like our answers. First the usual "Why don't you believe in God?" and I gave my standard answer and everyone else gave usual answers. But oh no. That's not what he wanted.

Then he asked, "Why do you reject the idea of God?" or something like that. I LOVE that word, "reject". I simply answered explaining how I don't reject the idea of a god existing. I'm quite open to it. But oh no. That's not what he wanted.

So he basically asked if God appeared before us as proof, would we then believe? Um. Whatever.

Since breaking up with John, I don't do much again. And without tweetups, I feel a bit disconnected once again in Spokane. However, for a while now I have been apart of an atheist forum for Spokane-atheists? They have monthly meetings and I missed last month, they canceled this month's, but next month is already set. I really want to go. I actually know one of the people already ( he was who told me about it. ) and I am a bit excited to meet some new people.

Switching gears now. Ended up in a fun conversation with my boss. She was looking at baby clothes and is getting frustrated over the selection of girl clothes. For some reason I just knew what she was going to talk about and yup. Nailed it.

The conversation turned into gender stereotypes and stuff. Pink is for girls and blue is for boys. And really, we didn't just talk about babies. I found out that she took classes on women's studies, but also psychology and gender. I was very jealous. Asked if she still had any books that I could borrow. She wasn't sure.

I've been wanting to find some good books about gender and stereotypes and such, but am finding it a bit hard. It seems like a lot of things I find are about people physically transitioning or wanting to. Not exactly what I am looking for and I have already read quite a bit into that. So hopefully she can help me out.

I haven't written about it, but I feel a little uncomfortable with a friend of mine. Yay for facebook, right? Argh. Okay.

I posted a link on facebook to an article about same-sex parents raising children and how these children are turning out fine. ( Hmm, imagine that! If you want to read it: Click Here )

Anyway. One quote stuck out to me so I posted it to facebook: "If we, gay and straight alike, shrug off the influence of gender stereotypes, don't we emerge as more authentic versions of ourselves? How bad can that be?"

So this friend of mine replies. She's probably the person I've been friends with the longest. We are the type of friends who can go a year without seeing each other and when we do finally see each other, it was like we were never apart. We're close. But she asks "Don't we need gender stereotypes? Otherwise there would be no "male" or "female"."

Um. Let me also point out she was the one who gave me the idea of going to Homecoming in high school in a tuxedo.

I gave her a thoughtful answer. . .and never got a reply. So. It makes me slightly uncomfortable. Silence is painful sometimes.

I don't know.

Final note. I need a haircut and my outfit today was awesome. My camera is dead, so you are just going to have to take my word for it.

Compy Woes and the LJ

2009-12-11T15:27:54Z

Last night after getting ready for bed, I sit down at my computer one last time to save things and say good night to people and it shuts down! And it wouldn't turn back on! I'm going to be so fricken pissed off is Bring dies sometime soon. ( He's back on right now. ) He's not even a year old. I can afford a new PC tower if needed, but. . .damn. That will be coming out of my car fund. Again.

I guess I am just destined to not own a car. Hospital bill ate up everything last time and now my computer might. Argh. I wish I could afford the mac I want already. ( It costs a ton because I will have to get new software for my art. )

On a different note, with the free time at work, I coded a new profile layout for myself. Last night and this morning I made graphics and so now it is up! I also took off a lot of garbage on my LJ profile, cleaned up my interests, and updated my information. I now have a Setsuna on my profile! Ha ha ha.

The song "End Transmission" by AFI has now been associated to Graham and Setsuna in my head. Yeah. I am pretty obsessed with the idea of them having some sort of friendship in the future. I just don't ramble on about it to anyone.

A note to myself. It's day 13 and I am still not completely healed.

My girlfriend is coming this weekend! I get to get up at 4:00am ( or is it 3:30am? Hmm. ) tomorrow to go get her. ♥ Tired Ani will be tired.

LJ Writer's Block: Role model

2009-12-11T04:57:58Z

Is there any character from a novel or film that serves as a role model to you? What kind of advice do you think she or he would give you regarding any major issues you're facing right now?

Submitted By masakali

View 672 Answers

Not from a novel or film, but still fiction. Hmmm. Who could mine be?

Ha ha ha. Oh Graham Aker. ♥ Why so awesome in my eyes?

To be completely honest, however. I don't see how he could possibly give me any advice on the major issues I am dealing with. Issues with my mother? Well. He would probably say what most people tell me.

Me trying to be true to myself?

Pfffft.

I love you, Graham. I do. But. Yeah.

Cosplay

2009-12-10T20:58:27Z

Watching more Baccano! and I am pretty sure I know who I want to cosplay from it. Shame I didn't start watching this series much sooner, as this is one I want to do right and wouldn't be able to finish before SakuraCon 2010. It will have to be a costume for 2011. ♥

If I was a man and had more of a broad frame, I would totally cosplay Ladd. However, I bet I can do an all right Vino~ ♥

And I mean Vino from this scene:

I wanna try it! Ha ha ha. ♥ Nice would be fun, but a lot of makeup and. . .argh. Eyepatch over my good eye. ~~I couldn't do Ennis simply because I wear her clothes normally and I use to have her hair style. :/ Lame.~~

WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE POINT THIS OUT?

2009-12-10T14:57:58Z

When it comes to gay-marriage, when I am in a debate or argument over it, I like to point out the fact that atheists can get married. And people of other religions, people who believe in different gods, and people who don't believe the bible to be true.

THIS IS WHY IT PISSES ME OFF SO DAMN MUCH. IT'S NOT A RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION. It's merely something that can be, damnit.

From video:

"I don't have to be involved in any church or religion to get married and if you got married in your church without the certificate from the state, you would get no benefits from it."

Snap!

Edit. Good article: Same-Sex Marriage: "A Basic Civil Right" To quote from it:

In their landmark 1967 ruling striking down long-held prohibitions on inter-racial marriage, the Supreme Court said plainly, "Marriage is one of the basic civil rights of man, fundamental to our very existence and survival."

As Staten Island senator Diane Savino noted after Wednesday's vote, "We in government don't determine the quality or worthiness of people's relationships. If we did, we would not issue three-quarters of the marriage licenses we do."

If our Constitution, and those of the States we live in, cannot provide true equal rights for all our citizens, including those who live in committed same-sex relationships, simply because enough ideologically rigid people choose to "bring it up for a vote," then what do our civil rights really mean?

I shot him in the forehead.

2009-12-09T19:13:34Z

I had this dream a while ago and wrote it down while at work one day. . .forgetting to actually post it. So here it is. Feelings and emotions played a big part in this dream. Fear be the strongest.

I was walking outside in the city. I felt very alone and nervous. There weren't cars driving around, only parked off to the side, and there wasn't anyone walking around. Just me. Yet I felt scared. I got about a block before suddenly stopping and looking over my shoulder. There was a man following me. Dirty clothes, shaggy hair, brown, and overall plain looking. He was saying something to me, but I don't know what. I kept shaking my head and telling him to go away. We sounded like we were talking under water. Everything was clouded.

He continued to come closer, I only took a step back. I don't know why, but in the dream I was very afraid of him. I wanted to find my phone and call for help. Reaching into my pocket I find that I am carrying a gun in my pocket. My dream changes perspectives as I see myself from the side, drawing the handgun out and holding it out, pointing it at the man. It changes and shows me from the man's perspective having the gun pointing at him. Then I go back and see things form my perspective. I took a slow deep breath, he begs for his life, starting to bring up his hands, and I pull the trigger.

There is a loud gunshot that breaks through that "water-silence". I hit the man dead center of his forehead and everything goes to slow motion as he whips his head back and falls over dead.

It slowly dawns on me what I have done. Bringing down the gun and looking at it, it becomes a box in the shape of a gun. It feels very light and empty, I am shaking, and trying to tell myself to slowly walk away and not look guilty. I turn and head off, taking the first alley I come to and just walking. I can hear sirens, but I don't look back. As I exit the alley, I see I am by a parking garage. I hear people suddenly and so I begin to run. I hear myself breathing hard and soon news reports begin to echo through my head.

"Breaking news. A man has just been found dead from a gunshot wound to the head. It happened downtown. . ." Different anchor voices, but all saying the same thing. I make it to my apartment, get into the building, and run up the few flights of stairs to my apartment. I hurry inside, quickly out of breath, and just leaning back against the door. I am still shaking. I hear my cat give a little mew, but I can't see her.

I keep thinking to myself that I am going to get caught and wondering what I should do. I keep thinking how this man has my driver's license for some reason. Heading out in my living room, I decide I need to turn myself in and that I can make up some story about how it was self-defense. I slowly blink, taking a deep breath, and suddenly I am standing at the county court house. I walk inside, I can't even look up, and just quietly tell the person that "I did it. I shot the man downtown." I turn my back to them and put my hands behind my back. I slowly blink, taking a deep breath, and suddenly I am standing in a very cold cement cell.

I get the impression the walls are very think. I am standing close to the back wall and facing a window. It is also very thick and a little hard to see through. I see green grass, trees, and some sort of metal statue of a man on a horse. I look back towards the front of my cell. I am not in handcuffs or anything. There are clear bars at the front of my cell. I see my father, mother, and three older woman standing there looking at me. In this dream, these women are my sisters apparently and I don't find it at all strange. I walk over, feeling a little bit of relief. My mother begins crying, my sisters reassure me that everything will be okay, and my dad tells me that he can get me out of jail that night. I place a hand on his cheek, smile, and feel quite relaxed in saying that "No, I should stay here." He smiles and nods. All of them leave.

I then here a familiar sound. Newsroom chatter. I look over to my right and find that wall of my cell is completely missing and I can see into my work's newsroom. I suck in a quick breath and go very tense. I hear the news desk talk about the crime I commited and what they were planning to do as far as news coverage. They look over and apparently can see me, asking if I would be willing to do an interview. I yell "no" at them and that's when one of the producers jumps up and runs over to me. He hugs me tightly and rubs his cheek against mine telling the Executive Producer, "Why don't we just do a live shot from here?" Everyone seems excited about it, when he lets go of me finally I turn my back to them and ignore them.

I woke up and found the time to be 4:33am.

Baccano! AMV

2009-12-09T14:43:17Z

This AMV makes me so happy. I love it. ♥ There are a lot of well done edits in it and the music is awesome.

I have lunch plans today, so no Baccano! for me today.

I'm Sold

2009-12-08T20:52:24Z

I've been enjoying Baccano! and now I can say I am hooked after episode 7. Have a random bad-ass scene from it:

I snorted. And rewatched it. And I couldn't help but think, "What did you think was going to happen once you drank the elixir, old man?"

Oh man, Maiza. MAIZA! ♥

When watching the beginning of this episode and a certain comment about Maiza was made, I literally stopped the video and had a "WHAT!?" moment. I really sat there wondering if this was something I was supposed to already know or if indeed we were learning about it for the first time. Ha ha. Maiza is very much my favorite character. ( Seems I have gone back to my "brown hair and glasses" type. )

Love. It.

I hope there are some bad-ass AMVs out there for Baccano! of course, I am probably asking for too much there.

Dreams and Bills and Pain

2009-12-08T15:52:14Z

I've been having some dreams recently. Most have been silly, one was very nice, but two specifically have a related theme.

Last night and the night before, I've had two dreams that dealt with the idea of "running away".

The night before, a former coworker of mine showed up and he asked me if I wanted to runaway with him to Virginia. I agreed and we stole my work's SST truck and made an effort to do so.

Last night I had a dream I was at my parents house. My dad comes in with a box of things and looks mighty upset. I asked if it was something to do with mother and he nods to me. I hurry over to him and ask if he will runaway with me. That we could leave mother and be done with all this.

I'm taking it as a sign that I must not runaway right now. No matter how much I want to and no matter whoever wants me to. I think I know what it is dealing with, and I don't mean with what I am going to write about next. Ha ha ha.

Bills - In other news, BILLS! I'll admit. That I have been very bad. It's a habit that I picked up when I lived back in Tri-Cities. If you knew me back then, you knew I struggled with money a lot. A lot. I literally lived paycheck to paycheck and sometimes would avoid a bill or two so that I could pay something else. It sucked. I felt bad. But I had to.

Even though I am making more money up here and doing a lot better, there are still times where things get all shot to hell. Remember, I had car problems, moving, car problems again, hospital, doctor problems, and so forth. I've put off a couple of bills including my student loans.

Last week I caught up on my student loans and then this week I went ahead and paid the rest. I saved quite a bit of money ( amazingly since it is holiday shopping season! ) and well. There is an amusing twist to it.

Yesterday I got the mail and found something from the power company, something from the ISP, and the bill or bills I had been avoiding. My heart sunk.

Power company was actually a check from what was overpaid at the last place. Sweet! ISP bill gave me a fucking heart attack since it was so high ( I didn't realize they would charge me a moving fee. ) and then it showed I had already paid it. Then, the other bill. I had been avoiding it for some time. In my head, I was expecting it to be around $600. I opened it to find it is. . .

$25. Whut?

Amazingly, my insurance did cover like $610 of the fee and left me only with the copay of $25. I felt. So dumb.

So essentially, I have been avoiding a $25 bill. This whole time. I'm a genius. But in a few days, I will be able to say I am caught up on all my bills. Finally. I feel like that is the same as saying "I'm debt free". Ha ha ha. Which is far from the truth since I am still paying my student loans. But someday. ♥

Medical - One last update, speaking of medical. I am not over this episode, but it is obvious I am on the down swing of things. Saturday was pretty bad for me. ( By pretty bad, I meant the worst this time around. ) I had already decided to spend as much time in bed as possible, and pretty much from the afternoon until I went to sleep, I was hurting a lot. It depressed me on Sunday ( you just get to a point where you're exhausted and tired of hurting. ) and forced myself to do chores to distract myself. It worked. Emotionally I felt better. Yesterday I noticed a difference. I am not experiencing pain as often as I have been. So hopefully in the next few days it will be over.

Happiness Meme Day 7

2009-12-08T04:06:34Z

Happiness Meme: The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day.

I had pizza for dinner.

2008. A Year of Suck.

2009-12-08T00:50:33Z

2008 was my really horrible awful year. Last year in December, I started to compile a list to compare the Good, the Stressful, and the Bad for 2008 and divided it my month. It was a daunting task and, well, I forgot about it.

Until now. I completed it so here is a look back at how SHITTY 2008 was for me. Some posts will be flocked or even private by the way. ( In case you try reading some and it won’t let you. *lol* )

The Good	Stress	The Bad
January
•Medication Treatment Continues •Vacation. Saw Family.	•Adjusting to a Low Cholesterol Diet	•Roommate’s Dog Eats Tablet Pen and Drawing Pens. Never replaced. •Vacation: Parents Fighting and me Fighting with Mother.
February
•Super Bowl •Watched Gundam 00 for First Time.	•Work Problems While Ill •Moving Stress •Broken Tooth	•Parents Fighting •V-Day Parents Fighting
March
•SAKURACON	•Moved •Awkward Date •Working on Cosplay
April
•Boyfriend GET •Coworkers Kidnap Graham	•Work Load Due to Olympics	•Watched Original Gundam Movie. Lost Two Hours of Life. •Got Contacted by Former Friend
May
•Fell In Love with Whiskey •OverFlag GET •Saw RENT on stage •Made the BEST Pair of Shoes EVER •digi148 Spams me with the BEST SPAM EVER	•Awkward Work Moment •Increased Stress at Work	•Family Problems with Tyson •Dealing With an Insecure Boyfriend
June
•Amusing Coworkers •Got my OverFlag •FLAG DAY	•More Problems with Coworkers •Ant Problem •Scanner Problems •Social Internet Problems •Boyfriend Problems	•Wrist Injury •Bad Fight with Mother •Another Bad Fight with Mother. •My Mother Not Knowing When To Stop
July
•The Birth of my Union Wall •Possible New Job in California •Birthday Was Gundam-Tastic •Possible New Job in Spokane •Fun Weekend With Two Awesome People •First FanFic of Gundam 00. Graham/Mazda for the WIN! •Job Interview in California	•Dealing With Telling Boyfriend about California •The Promise Ring Incident •Hydro Weekend •Emotional Conversation with Close Friend •MORE Drama at Work	•Depression Over Not Having a Best Friend •My Mother Didn’t Speak To Me on my Birthday. ( I did not write about this. ) •More Problems with Boyfriend •Getting Pissed Off at Boyfriend •Drama At Work •Broke Up with my Boyfriend •Lost My Mind Tra La La. Lost My Mind.
August
•New Job! •That Feeling of Having a Close Friend Again •The Start of Gundam 00C	•I DON’T KNOW WHAT JOB TO ACCEPT •Stress at Work •Moving Stress Begins •Stress with Men •Irritation with the Ex	•Ex-Boyfriend Problems •More Ex-Boyfriend Problems
September
•Epiphany About my Gender •APARTMENT GET •Epic Watermellon Smashing Adventure	•Stress At Work •Tight Moving and Working Schedule •Hydro Weekend •Having Trouble Finding An Apartment	•More Suck with Ex •AND MORE Suck with Ex •The Ex Freaking Out
October
•Amusing Last Night at Channel 25 •Found Safeway OMG •Halloween!	•ISP Search Woes •Broken Tooth •Money Woes •Dealing With Sexuality of Other People •Missing My Court Date	•Really Depressed •MOVING HELL. Moving on 1 hour of sleep and moving company not showing. •FLYING HELL. •Dealing With Getting an Anti-Harassment Restraining Order •My Last Apartment Stealing $350 from me.
November
•Seattle Trip •Pay Raise •Making some progress on my doujinshi •Internet at the new place! •Date with this cute girl I know	•Car Problems •Business Trip Problems •Hotel Being a Bastard And Won’t Fix THIS Problem •Dealing with sexuality of other people . . .again •Dealing with sexuality of other people. . .again again!	•Election Results •Dealing with the bullshit from one guy at the California station •Computer Dies
December
•Progress done at work •Met some cool people at a Spokane Tweetup •My daddy telling me I am not an inconvenience •A wonderful moment with God •Yay Christmas!	•Post office troubles	•SUCH PAIN FROM ONE SINGLE DOUGHNUT OMG •Small depression •Computer dies •SNOPOCALYPSE •Sliding off the edge of the road and later getting stranded in the middle of a snow storm at a rest stop with no one around • My mother telling me what a horrible inconvenience I am to them. . . •. . .along with some other things. •The snow. . .won’t. . .stop.

Yeah. Some good things. But remember, the good is weighing against the stressful and the bad.

The Ultimate question. Five of them!

2009-12-07T15:46:12Z

5 Questions Meme
-Comment with "Resistance is Futile!"
-I'll reply with 5 questions to satisfy my curiosity.
-Update your LJ with the answers
-Include this explanation (if you like or want) to ask other people.

Received from ametori

01. Why Buddhism, knowing that you come from a Catholic family?
My parents made the decision not to raise me into a religion. My father's family is actually Lutheran, but my dad believes that religion is a personal thing. He doesn't feel you should go to church unless you personally feel the need or desire to. "God is within you and you can have a relationship with him anywhere." has been something he said to me once. My mother did actually put me in a Private Catholic School where I was there for one year before she pulled me out.

So I was raised without a religion. My understanding of God came from what little Catholic school I had, television, what people told me, and the times I went to churches with other friends. I had one big problem. I was very depressed and I didn't understand why I was an only child. My mother had two miscarriages and I didn't get why God let me live and took my brothers and/or sisters away instead. I really hated God for that.

My depression grew and I decided to look into religions around the time of middle school. I tried reading the bible ( I kept my dad's bible in my room. ♥ ) and then began looking elsewhere. It was in High School I did a report on Buddhism and during my readings I was filled with so much emotion that I began crying. I felt like I was home. The best way I can describe how I felt is that I can only assume it is the same thing other people feel in their belief. I remember thinking, "This must be what God's love feels like." Buddhism has helped me with a lot of my pain.

02. What does "fandom" mean to you?
To be completely honest, I have a very bitter feeling towards "fandom" right now. I like to think it is a large group of fans that revolve around a particular series, video game, book, or movie. Almost like a club anyone can walk into and a place that you can share ideas with, have real talks with, or babel with, draw with, read, rant, and just overall have fun. Continue the enjoyment outside of the episode/movie/game/story.

In the past, I always seemed "late to the party", so fandom was non-existent ( Scrapped Princess ), small or hard to find ( Final Fantasy VII ), or scattered ( Megaman ). My recent attempts to being involved in current and/or active fandoms ( not just Gundam 00 ) I have found to be quite disappointing and/or frustrating. Friendships don't seem to last, the drama, the headaches, and I seem to have the unpopular opinion. In everything. I loathe Kurogane/Fai, I ship Cloud/Tifa, I don’t like X5 or X6 and DO like X7, I like Lyle, and prefer Graham to be the dominant one in pairings. I feel rather alone in "fandom" the more active and the larger it is.

03. When did you start using the internet? What do you think of it now? (now, these are two questions in one so my apologizes for that OTL)
I believe I started actively using the internet at 11-12. So, 14-13 years ago. My parents got our first computer and we used America On-Line to connect. My screenname was CokeCola23. Now? I love the internet and can't imagine my life without it. I feel better connected with the world at times because of it and envy young people for having it in their lives so early on.

04. Any fanfic writer(s) from your choice?
I don't read fanfic. Well. Rarely do I do. So I will say, my favorite would be taichara. The ones I have read written by her I have enjoyed very much and it is because of her ideas and a story or two I read once by her that I cried at the last episode of Season 2 of Gundam 00. If a someone can make you cry at the anime. . .that's saying something! ♥

05. One thing you would never change of yourself and one thing you are willing to change someday.
I can think of a couple things I wouldn't change about myself and all are stances on political issues. Since you said one, I will say my stance on civil rights for gays and transgenders. I can go on and on about that.

One thing I am willing to change is my living priorities. For example, I don't want to own or live in a house and I don't want to live someplace cold with a lot of snow. But if it is important to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I think I would be willing to compromise on a few of those things.

Happiness Meme Day 6

2009-12-07T00:42:40Z

Happiness Meme: The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day.

I changed my piercing! I've had an industrial bar in my left ear since 2004 and have never been able to get it out since then. I was never too concerned, because I never been able to find i-bars that I like.

Well I found two about a month ago and FINALLY I managed to get the bar out of my ear.

I am a little frustrated in that I asked someone to see if the bars I am looking at would fit. They said they would, but ah. . .they are both way too long. The one I have in my ear right now is black and has a zig-zag bend from one end to the other. If I center it, one of the zig-zags pushes out my ear a bit and it looks creepy. Pushing it down to one side makes like an inch stick out. :/ I'm not sure how to feel about it.

The other one I have I am not sure if it will fit in my ear. It is also too long but it is a constant spiral. (Think like a corkscrew. ) So I don't know how that work.

Doesn't sound too happy, I know. But this solves a problem of mine. I like having short hair, but I find that having long hair is easier for me to hide under wigs and with short hair I find it quite painful. When I have short hair, I have a hard time getting all my hair in the hairnet and what ALWAYS happens is I get my piercing stuck in the net or my hair loops around it and it is such a pain in the ass. AND IT HURTS.

BUT I CAN TAKE IT OUT NOW, YES. I CAN HAVE SHORT HAIR ALL YEAR ROUND. This makes me happy.

ALSO: I beat Apollo Justice this morning.

Happiness Meme Day 5

2009-12-06T08:08:57Z

Happiness Meme: The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day.

Today wasn't a really good day. I guess it wasn't bad, exactly. But it wasn't a very happy day.

I got ginger ale and ginger ale made me happy.

Ace Pilot

Hi.

What's up, Doc? No. Seriously. What is up?!

Curse nature

AIM

Girl Bits

"Why are you reading the bible?"

It's a trainwreck you can't look away from.

I'm closed-minded.

Baccano!

Flying Dream

Pink Atheism

Compy Woes and the LJ

LJ Writer's Block: Role model

Cosplay

WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE POINT THIS OUT?

I shot him in the forehead.

Baccano! AMV

I'm Sold

More Questions. :D

Dreams and Bills and Pain

Happiness Meme Day 7

2008. A Year of Suck.

The Ultimate question. Five of them!

Happiness Meme Day 6

Happiness Meme Day 5