Anibunny (anibunny) wrote,
Anibunny
anibunny

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A Letter From The Past

There is a website called FutureMe.org that allows you to write a letter to yourself in the future. I wrote a letter to myself March 28th, 2011 and just received it today.

Mixed feelings on it.

Dear Me,
First off: Happy Birthday!

Do you still love your job? If you don’t, there was a time when you did. At least, I am assuming you’re in the same job as I am. . .3 year contract and all. You have, wow! One month left!

I think the most important thing to do here is comparing yourself to me. See how far you’ve come. I hope you’re a better person today.

While I love the job I am at, I’m pretty depressed. Been seeing a therapist and have had four sessions so far. I’m single, but I don’t mind. Fleece is still with me and I hope she’s with you. I’m struggling with figuring out my identity, how to place value in what I do, and not beat myself up so badly over mistakes. Please tell me you’ve accomplished two of these things!

Mother and dad are still well. Dad is coming down to see his family in two months. Oh, by the way. Yesterday I smashed your phone with a hammer. Remember that? It will never piss me off again. So I have to buy a phone tonight.

Still haven’t decided where to live yet. Seattle or San Fran. Any ideas yet?

I hope you’re well,
Me.


Is it weird that I feel like I want to talk to past me? It was weird to read this email.

Dear Past Me,

I no longer love my job and it is kind of surreal to read the message, "If you don't, there was a time when you did." Just that line hits me in such a way that is leaving me feeling numb. I don't know how to describe it. You could say I hate this job now and the place it has become. I've been struggling to get out.

I am still struggling with depression, but on a positive note, I would say I am a better person today. Therapy has helped tremendously with that. Thank you. No longer single. I've been with someone named Adem for almost a year now. A year next month actually.

Sadly, Fleece is no longer with me. Things with my parents are...interesting. Haven't talked to them much, but slowly trying to rebuild some sort of communication with them.

Currently living in Santa Cruz, but I hope to live in San Jose someday.

-Me
Tags: birthday, depression, real life
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