Anibunny (anibunny) wrote,

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Random: Self Esteem and Courage

A coworker is leaving and originally we were going to go out for drinks tonight. But he wasn't feeling well. I got all dressed up for nothin'.

Ha ha ha. But seriously. I wanted to look good and feel good, so I pulled clothes out of my forbidden closet. Man, all day I felt awesome. Yeah, I was a little self conscious at points, but overall I felt pretty good. Here's a random picture of me:

I love my hair so dang much. I had another shirt over the one in the picture. Left open, kind of grey. I think it looked cool. Not an outfit I would really wear for work, but it is a Friday.

I want to feel this good about myself every day.

I decorated my office a bit today too as there was practically no one on my side of the building for half the day.

Been playing Ace Attorney some. Oh man. I love Edgeworth so much. I think I may break down and cosplay him even though I would look horrible as him. I am thinking his younger self.

My head has been in a weird place for a while now. I don't know how to explain it. I feel bad that I haven't been very. . .interactive on LJ. There have been a few LJ entries I've been wanting to reply to. . .and then I never got around to it. Pllb. I'm sorry, guys.

I am thinking about learning Aikido. I've always had a mild interest(?) in martial arts. I enjoy watching and I feel it could be helpful on many levels. But one reason I've never seriously considered it is because, well, the idea of sparring kind of bothered me. I know that sounds crazy, but it does! John would once in a while mention the idea of learning karate to me, but I just felt uncomfortable by it.

Anyway. . .I was looking for something (I can't remember what, lol.) and got sidetracked when I saw there is a Aikido Dojo here in Monterey. I started reading up on it and wow. It really draws me in. The idea of a style of self defense that causes the least amount of harm as possible to the attacker is fascinating. I love the philosophy and the little bit of history the website had. I also like how training seems to be set up. It isn't sparring, but more like partners with specific roles of Nage or Uke. And no matter which role you take on, you're still learning/practicing something valuable.

My only problem is shyness. ;aksdhf. I'm so shy that I get so much anxiety trying something new like this. I know, it's dumb. But, man. Just makes me sick to my stomach at the thought of joining something new alone. But I have the whole month to work up the courage and so the last week of this month I can go in and watch a class. They have a ton of evening classes and a Saturday and Sunday class so I have no excuse. I think it would be fun and good for me to do something. And yeah, I know it will be a lot of work. . .but that isn't an excuse either. I think it will help with my confidence, emotions, and give me the exercise I've been lacking since moving down here.

Finally. . .working on a few drawings! I made another time lapse. Drawing for Flag Day this month. You can see sketch through ink and spoil yourself on what the drawing will be. *lol* I am horrible with mechs. ;khsfdt.

I think Graham looks so dang adorable and awesome. And like Graham.
Tags: my day, pictures!, youtube
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