I feel ridiculous for saying, but Graham was a good chunk of it. I had brought in my artwork for her to see, which included a picture of him. I didn't realize that when she asked me to bring in some art to show her that we would be talking about it so. . .thoroughly.
Thinking about it more, I should have realized it since at a previous session, I had talked about something personal I wanted to draw to express myself. The art pieces I had brought to show were Zero, Epiphany, Christina and Lichty, Wa-Lolita, and Graham.
Most amusing question she has asked me so far since starting therapy: "Do you have anything to remind you of Graham in your daily life?"
I laughed. That question was within a whole conversation and makes more sense. I won't get into it. It made me feel okay with me having him everywhere after she asked that because I knew where she was going with it.
She said some very nice things. Then she asked what I was feeling.
I said numb, because I had just finished bawling my eyes out and was trying to calm myself down. I then smiled and added, "I also feel scared, but that's okay."
I know in this case, fear is a sign that I am stepping into the "unknown" which is the whole point.
Which is why I smiled.