Work has been really stressful for me. I don't know how to explain so instead I will share two dreams I recently had.

Sunday night I had a dream that I was living in a beautiful beach home. One story. It was lovely. I headed into the living room, sipping some tea, and looking into the dining room. The dining room had floor to ceiling windows that looked out to the beach and the ocean. There were surfers and people walking around on the beach and it was just lovely. Peaceful.

Then. I see the water pull back and a large tidal wave is climbing and covering the sky and it comes crashing down on my home and smashing people up against my windows. Somehow my home stays perfectly dry inside and the windows don't break. I am panicking thinking I am going to die as I knew it was going to happen again. I turn around to see people breaking into my home, panicking, and taking shelter there. Suddenly I am feeling responsible for everyone, giving my food out and handing out blankets and checking injuries.

It was so incredibly stressful.

And so telling. Clearly I am feeling overwhelmed in real life.

Well. Last night. Last night I had a dream that I had a new job. Ha ha.

My Monday night group is coming to an end. Next week is our last night. I still need to write a big entry explaining all that we have covered and all I have learned.

Tonight we each got a paper with our names at the top. We passed it around and had to write three things we appreciate/admire about that person. We folded our answers under and passed it on.

Here is what people wrote about me:

Creative x5
Awesome x4
Caring x3
Expressive x2
Strong x2
Beautiful x2
Brave x2
Loving
Delightful
Playful
Wisdom
Appreciative
Open Minded
Commited-ness
Confident
Kind
Thoughtful
Patient
Gentle
Brilliant
Precious
Funny
Honest
Growing
Questioning

Before I took this workshop, a lot of this would have been hard to hear and made me uncomfortable. Some of it I wouldn't believe or think they were just trying to be nice.

But today I am able to look at all these things and feel that they are all true.

SOMEONE SHOOT ME PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF--

I hate everything.

I just. Wanna curl up into a ball and die now.

GOD.

This game is just. . .sdfa;khfg.

I can't. I can't handle it.

I can't tell you which Gundam is my favorite as so many of them are amazing~

Right now I've been piloting the Gundam Mk II.

It's so cool.

Infinite Justice Gundam, Reborns Gundam, and Gundam Mk II = Love.

Woke up at 5am for some reason. Fell back asleep.

Woke up at 6am as my cat decided she wanted to play with a ball I have that has a bell in it. In the past I would get up and take it away from her if I am trying to sleep, but. . .

She's an old lady.

She doesn't really play much anymore. So I kind of really liked hearing her play no matter how much I desired sleep.

I log in to my email and see the following. . .



Well.

I am glad to know Graham is cool with me drawing him gay, drawing him not gay, drawing him with Billy, Neferu, or some other random person. I am glad to know Graham is cool with me drawing him crazy or odd sometimes and serious and cool the next.

Not only is he cool with it…he "likes" it.

Got introduced to a Tumblog that surprisingly didn't make me fall into a fit of rage. Only a few posts on it really irritated me, but the rest was just. . .fucking. . .laughable.

If you aren't part of Tumblr. . .it started when a blog "Who Needs Feminism?" popped up with discussing why people need it. As a response a "Who Needs Masculism?" popped up and that blog is fantastic. I love the person running it.

But oh no. If you actually care about gender equality, a lot of people will flip their shit. ( You can't be for gender equality and hate men. Sorry. )

( Tumblr Drama you can Easily Skip )

Graham, I wish I knew how to quit you.

I'm so absurd.

• Cat: Meow meow meow! Me: I CAN'T SPEAK CAT.
• lol @ people who don't know what photoshop is and takes everything on the internet as fact.
• But do believe me when I say I am actually a bunny. And Graham Aker. All at the same time.
• How about we take Relena and Marina and just. . .put them over there. Away from everything.
• SCHWARZ IS IN THIS?! OMG. I WANNA PLAY AS HIM NOW PLZ
• "Ani! What's PST?" "Huh?" "Is that an hour difference?" "That's us. That's our timezone in the winter."
• Graham~ <3
• This is the brain I live with. Every day.
• I need to draw a comic where Graham is like, "I am going to unleash the unbeatable power of the flag!" and Setsuna is like, "Bitch, plz."
• "Fighting by your side really brings a smile to my face." D'awwww, Graham~
• ;kahdsfkhdgk;'h'klsjf'KJFKSDHJF #drunktweet

I use twitter as my personal thought bubble.  So keep in mind:  THIS IS THE BRAIN I LIVE WITH.  Every day.